Hey everyone, well as you know I started my journey into the world of writing earlier this year, having happily left behind a twenty year career in Finance. My Journey so far as been interesting, frustrating, extremely enjoyable but mostly surprising! I hadn't been prepared at all for the different stages my little adventure would take me on..
First came the Procrastination, this really surprised me as I had so many ideas so it wasn't that i was stuck for something to say. I sat at the laptop and I looked at the blank page and i typed away, putting down lots and lots of words on the page. Then when i was finished I would hit delete, walk away and promise myself that better writing would come for me tomorrow. The only person judging my writing at that point was me. So as the blank pages mounted up along came the frustration. I wasnt getting anywhere, I was doing it all wrong after all. In the words of Benjamin Franklin, "You may delay, but time will not ." My light, at the end of the procrastination tunnel, was 140 tweets which I spoke about in my previous blog and that was it, I was up and running. Running faster than my fingers could keep up with the words spilling out of my imagination. My fingers hovered over the delete word but it remained untouched. However, unbeknown to me at this time, was that i was about to enter into the next stage, or stumbling block on my writing journey. This is when my confidence leave by the front door and self doubt stepped in.
But wait, don't throw down your pen or turn off the computer.. There is a God!! and I found it last Saturday in Dun Laoghaire. Inkwell Writing Workshops had been recommended to me and I finally got around to attending one last week. I walked in the door of the Yacht club on that sunny saturday morning, without realising just how much I was going to walk back out with that evening.
The course was attended by just 8 students so immediately you felt relaxed and welcome. The atmosphere was friendly and really informal which was great when faced with meeting a group of strangers for the first time. First we had a talk from Monica McInerney. Her lovely voice alone, never mind her words was enchanting as she talked about her journey and how she got started. She asked us all about where we were at in our writing careers and spend time at the end to talk individually to all of us. So we were off to an inspirational start as Monica said, "The writer sees a picture in their head and puts this picture in words on a page, then the reader reads the words and paints their own picture in their heads"
After a lovely lunch and a chat with the other students, we had an afternoon session with Julie Parson's and we prepared writing exercises with her. And for me this was where the real magic happened. We were given one line and asked to write the opening paragraph of a story or a person and asked to explain them through the writing. It was amazing to see what came out of me just i applied myself to the tasks. I shocked myself. It was also amazing to listen to other peoples interpretation of the same line. The stories read out in that room were fantastic. Julie critiqued our work, giving encouragement and letting each of us know what she liked about the very different pieces. There is no better praise than having a best selling author say, wow, i really liked that.. She liked that, I wrote that!!! I am sure everyone got something different out of the workshop that day but we all definitely got some reward.
So what did that mean for me? Well i walked out that door last saturday with the confidence to know that I can do this, I am a good writer and other people will want to read what I write. Self doubt gone, Self believe restored!! I can not recommend highly enough to all new writers to attend an Inkwell Writing Course as you might be very surprised what you walk out of the door with!
I now face the next step of my journey but that is another story for another blog so when in doubt of your writing remember the words of Stephen King..
"No, it's not a very good story—its author was too busy listening to other voices to listen as closely as he should have to the one coming from inside."
Friday, 23 September 2011
Wednesday, 7 September 2011
Twitter...120 characters that change my writing!
I thought I would quickly throw this together about twitter. Many people reading this will be either addicted to, ops I mean will be active on twitter or some of you will not know about it at all...
For me, I joined twitter when I started my writing career earlier this year having read many books that said to join a social networking site to increase your profile and get your name out there. I did like many do on twitter in the beginning and I followed the trending celebrities and spent most of my time just reading through what they were doing each day. I did this for a while until I realised that reading through their tweets wasn't getting me any closer to my dreams of being a writer as I basically wasnt writing.
As a new writer, begining to write for me was a mind field of do's and don't. A black hole, the bermunda triangle so many cliches to use. (Stephen King would kill me now for using them!!) Having spend my working career to date in finance where everything was planned to the minute detail. I had no room for error, I struggled on how to let my creative side out and just let it go because for the past 20 years, I never let anything just go, it was always planned, perfect and achieved its goal each time. So here i am now, starting a new career at 40 in a world I know nothing about and one where your approach has to be so different. There are really no rules im told but lots of books that tell you differently. Plan, dont plan... do character charts, dont do character charts.. awwww runs away!!
When I finally found my feet, I found a group of people on twitter who seemed to be working away with their writing professionally and more than willing to share their secrets with me. They had a laugh on twitter together and seemed to me to be genuine friends, although they may be many miles apart from each other. They helped each other out and promoted each other's writing and blogs. They accepted me the novice, no writing skills person and followed me on twitter. Replied to my tweets even the boring ones and made me feel part of the group, all offering best wishes or advice etc...
Im not going to mentioned them all as there are many but I am going to mention one because tonight he has probably described writing to me in the best way possible and I think this quote should be remembered forever by all the lost writers in this world who don't know where to start.
"I always think of it as a sculptor's block of marble. You hack away at it first to get the basic outline. Then you chip away at it slowly to bring out the detail"
This little gem was given to me tonight by Derek Flynn who has been a great friend on twitter to me and given me so much direction from this little tweet that I will never forget it. It will be forever in my mind along with my other favourite quote from spike milligan when asked what he wanted on this headstone. (although completely unrelevent to the blog but seriously funny) "I told you I was ill"...
Make sure you follow @derekflynn on twitter and thanks for the 126 characters (very rough estimate) that have probably changed my whole approach to writing and giving me the direction I lacked.!!
So finally it got me pondering life in general and the millions of people on twitter and the different people we come into contact with, do we randomly pick who we follow on twitter and strike up friendships with or is there a part of fate in it all..... well only time will tell and I owe Derek a few pints!!
Thanks to all my followers on twitter and the people that take the time to answer my boring tweets, you know who you are....it has all been greatly appreciated and started me on what I hope will be a very successful writing career!
For me, I joined twitter when I started my writing career earlier this year having read many books that said to join a social networking site to increase your profile and get your name out there. I did like many do on twitter in the beginning and I followed the trending celebrities and spent most of my time just reading through what they were doing each day. I did this for a while until I realised that reading through their tweets wasn't getting me any closer to my dreams of being a writer as I basically wasnt writing.
As a new writer, begining to write for me was a mind field of do's and don't. A black hole, the bermunda triangle so many cliches to use. (Stephen King would kill me now for using them!!) Having spend my working career to date in finance where everything was planned to the minute detail. I had no room for error, I struggled on how to let my creative side out and just let it go because for the past 20 years, I never let anything just go, it was always planned, perfect and achieved its goal each time. So here i am now, starting a new career at 40 in a world I know nothing about and one where your approach has to be so different. There are really no rules im told but lots of books that tell you differently. Plan, dont plan... do character charts, dont do character charts.. awwww runs away!!
When I finally found my feet, I found a group of people on twitter who seemed to be working away with their writing professionally and more than willing to share their secrets with me. They had a laugh on twitter together and seemed to me to be genuine friends, although they may be many miles apart from each other. They helped each other out and promoted each other's writing and blogs. They accepted me the novice, no writing skills person and followed me on twitter. Replied to my tweets even the boring ones and made me feel part of the group, all offering best wishes or advice etc...
Im not going to mentioned them all as there are many but I am going to mention one because tonight he has probably described writing to me in the best way possible and I think this quote should be remembered forever by all the lost writers in this world who don't know where to start.
"I always think of it as a sculptor's block of marble. You hack away at it first to get the basic outline. Then you chip away at it slowly to bring out the detail"
This little gem was given to me tonight by Derek Flynn who has been a great friend on twitter to me and given me so much direction from this little tweet that I will never forget it. It will be forever in my mind along with my other favourite quote from spike milligan when asked what he wanted on this headstone. (although completely unrelevent to the blog but seriously funny) "I told you I was ill"...
Make sure you follow @derekflynn on twitter and thanks for the 126 characters (very rough estimate) that have probably changed my whole approach to writing and giving me the direction I lacked.!!
So finally it got me pondering life in general and the millions of people on twitter and the different people we come into contact with, do we randomly pick who we follow on twitter and strike up friendships with or is there a part of fate in it all..... well only time will tell and I owe Derek a few pints!!
Thanks to all my followers on twitter and the people that take the time to answer my boring tweets, you know who you are....it has all been greatly appreciated and started me on what I hope will be a very successful writing career!
Wednesday, 17 August 2011
The Spanish Lady....
Im sure we all have that one person in the family who will always be remembered the most, talked about the most with great fondness. Well my 2nd cousin my Auntie Margaret is this lady for me. As a child she bought me a dress from Spain after a holiday with my parents there and from then on became known as the spanish lady to me. Living in Texas all her life after marrying a nice quiet man from Texas, it never changed her from being the spanish lady to me.
This isn't what makes her memorable. What makes her memorable for me and my family was her ability to turn any situation in life, good or bad around and into something funny or something good that we would remember. She said to me once, there are two types of girls in this world, girls that are bitches and the ones who pretend they arent. At least hunni, I know I'm a bitch!!....
She did have a hard life and sadly died from cancer many years ago now but her memory and funny stories live on with me and my family still and I wanted to share one such story with you now... its funny and I think you will get an idea of the spanish lady from this...
My mum and Auntie Margaret were always centre of the fun and laugther on any outing that was had with the Garda Choir. My Dad was a member and on this particular day, we were having a day trip on the ferry from Dublin to Fishguard. Back in them days, it was all about a chance to get some duty free and have a good day out. Today was no different so having parked themselves in a prime location on the boat, the bar of course and surrounded themselves with the usual suspects, they knew they were in for a good day..
However, there was one lady among the group who didnt seem to agree with the fun and laugher. I believe this particular lady's dislikes were borne out of jealousy as she was not included with the incrowd and rather than be nice, she usually resorted to being a bitch. Her bitchiness or her competitive bitchiness was always directed at my mother. She was always trying to put my mother down or out do her in some way. Rather a wasted past time for this lady as it never dampened the fun or the laughs the ladies had.
Having spent a few hours now in the bar and having a great ole day, this lady, we will call her Joan returned from duty free with her purchases and made a beeline for my mother. "look at what I got Doris, perfume from my husband, she said waving the bottle at my mother, "the real thing, none of that eau de toilette for me and a 100 ml bottle too". Momentarily giving Joan the attention she deserved, everyone smiled at her but quickly returned to their own conversations and laughs, leaving her out in the cold once again.
Now my Auntie Margaret had one thing in life she really hated and that was anyone having a go at her cousin Doris(my mum). So a few hours later on the return trip from Fishguard, my Auntie Margaret took her own trip to the Duty Free. She bought a litre bottle of Jameson Whiskey to bring back to the States with her and asked the nice assistant to gift wrap it for her as it was a present for someone.
On returning to the bar from the Duty Free, Margaret made a very big entrance, " OH GIRLS, Look at this", she stated very loudly placing the now gift wrapped bottle on the table in front of joan's bottle of 100ml perfume. Once Margaret knew she had the rooms attention as only margaret could command, she looked Joan straight in the eye and said.....
"Oh hunni, see what I got in the duty free, CHANNEL NO.5.... you should have married a Texan sweetie" and with that Margaret winked at my mother who was trying very hard not to laugh as she looked on at poor joan's face. Joan's face has gone very pale now as she stared at what she thought was a litre bottle of pure Channel No.5 which put her own very small gift wraped bottle to shame.
This isn't what makes her memorable. What makes her memorable for me and my family was her ability to turn any situation in life, good or bad around and into something funny or something good that we would remember. She said to me once, there are two types of girls in this world, girls that are bitches and the ones who pretend they arent. At least hunni, I know I'm a bitch!!....
She did have a hard life and sadly died from cancer many years ago now but her memory and funny stories live on with me and my family still and I wanted to share one such story with you now... its funny and I think you will get an idea of the spanish lady from this...
My mum and Auntie Margaret were always centre of the fun and laugther on any outing that was had with the Garda Choir. My Dad was a member and on this particular day, we were having a day trip on the ferry from Dublin to Fishguard. Back in them days, it was all about a chance to get some duty free and have a good day out. Today was no different so having parked themselves in a prime location on the boat, the bar of course and surrounded themselves with the usual suspects, they knew they were in for a good day..
However, there was one lady among the group who didnt seem to agree with the fun and laugher. I believe this particular lady's dislikes were borne out of jealousy as she was not included with the incrowd and rather than be nice, she usually resorted to being a bitch. Her bitchiness or her competitive bitchiness was always directed at my mother. She was always trying to put my mother down or out do her in some way. Rather a wasted past time for this lady as it never dampened the fun or the laughs the ladies had.
Having spent a few hours now in the bar and having a great ole day, this lady, we will call her Joan returned from duty free with her purchases and made a beeline for my mother. "look at what I got Doris, perfume from my husband, she said waving the bottle at my mother, "the real thing, none of that eau de toilette for me and a 100 ml bottle too". Momentarily giving Joan the attention she deserved, everyone smiled at her but quickly returned to their own conversations and laughs, leaving her out in the cold once again.
Now my Auntie Margaret had one thing in life she really hated and that was anyone having a go at her cousin Doris(my mum). So a few hours later on the return trip from Fishguard, my Auntie Margaret took her own trip to the Duty Free. She bought a litre bottle of Jameson Whiskey to bring back to the States with her and asked the nice assistant to gift wrap it for her as it was a present for someone.
On returning to the bar from the Duty Free, Margaret made a very big entrance, " OH GIRLS, Look at this", she stated very loudly placing the now gift wrapped bottle on the table in front of joan's bottle of 100ml perfume. Once Margaret knew she had the rooms attention as only margaret could command, she looked Joan straight in the eye and said.....
"Oh hunni, see what I got in the duty free, CHANNEL NO.5.... you should have married a Texan sweetie" and with that Margaret winked at my mother who was trying very hard not to laugh as she looked on at poor joan's face. Joan's face has gone very pale now as she stared at what she thought was a litre bottle of pure Channel No.5 which put her own very small gift wraped bottle to shame.
Friday, 1 July 2011
Dating Diaster No.2
Once upon a time there lived a young girl in her 20's who worked for an advertising company. All being single girls at the time, our working week involved as little work as we could get away with and alot of planning our friday night. Mondays were spent piecing the previous friday nights events together with the help of each other. It usually involved lots of "OMG,I forgot about that, or him or her or them". The rest of the week then involved what are we wearing, where will we go. This was usually a pointless exercise as we ended up doing the same thing every Friday anyway.
By 4.30pm on a Friday we would be in a bar on Stephens Green drinking Black Russians. I swear the barmen in there use to cringe when we all walked in. We would torment the poor guys all night. Usually it was " Thats too strong, you are trying to kill us on the first cocktail, to a few hours later when it turned to, "there is no vodka in that, put more alcohol in it". By 9pm the glasses were nearly transparent with all the vodka in them and we were all ready to go dancing, unlike the rest of the population who were only just starting their weekends. This was also when the events of the rest of the night would become somewhat hazy. The girls used to always laugh and say that with me the night was never over until I got into my own bed, because anything could happen with me. So with that in mind, here starts my dating diaster number 2.
After one of these mad Friday night out, I did indeed wake up at home!! WOOT, and alone, WOOT, and ok I may still have my coat and all my clothes on in the bed but I had made it home. Bonus points for me! Sitting up in the bed, I had a vague recollection of arranging a date for that day in town. I tried very hard to add a real face to the memory but I got nothing. His facial features were a complete blank but I decided to hell with it, I will go anyway, sure how bad could it be! After polyfilling in the black bags under my eyes and trying to make myself look somewhat human, I headed off. Now not remembering what he looked like, I was hoping that he would remember me as I stood at the door of the pub looking around me. It may have been my imagination, or the fragile state of my mind but I swear that nearly all the tables seemed to be occupied by one single male. Trying to stare a few of them down looking for some sort of recognise in their eyes that they knew me and getting very weird looks back , I realised this was probably making me look rather strange and most some MENTAL, so I retreated to the corner of the bar to get a drink and wait for the mystery man.
A few minutes later in walked this fella. Alot older than me, fairly ordinary looking with alot more hair sticking out of his shirt than was on the top of his head. Please God keep walking I thought but alas no, he walked straight over to me and greeted me as if we were long lost friends, having known each other all our lives. A big bear hug, a kiss on the cheek, a huge smile as if he was actually surprised to see me. I swear but he looked like he had just won the lottery. Oh crap,I thought.. I have done it again. I will never ever drink again.!! I say that alot but never with any real conviction!
Not wanting to be rude, we chatted for a while and he was ok, I'm sure he was a nice guy but definitely not for me. His bodily hair and the shear mass of it was just too distracting for me to concentrate on anything else. He must have been so warm with that extra level of fur around him. After getting us a drink and chatting for a while, he took himself off to the toilet and while I sat there complating making a run for it, over walks this vision of manhood. And I mean vision!! He was just gorgeous, about 25 and seemed to have more hair on his head, nicely styled too instead of it mostly trying to escape out of his shirt. He seemed to be coming straight to me I realised and trying not to faint from his loveliness, I started to pretend to read the bar menu. "Hi Valerie", he said sitting down on hairy mans stool. Judging by the blank look on my face and my gaping mouth, something he was probably well use to as i imagined he rendered many girls speechless in his time, he continue to talk to me. "I have been sitting back there since 4pm, he said throwing his arm and body in the direction of the back of the pub and the side door, " and I'm really confused why you didnt come over to me after arranging to meet me here". I thought we had a great night last night but I was obviously wrong". As his words started to sink in, Mr. Abominable snowman (hairy man) had arrived back from the toilet and was more than a little put out by the greek god in his stool.
Standing up from the stool, the handsome man turned to the hairy man and laughing said," I think we have been had, mate", he guffawed, "looks like blondie here was so drunk last night that she arranged two dates in the same pub for the same time".
"Hold on" I said standing up to feel a bit more in control, "'I'm confused"!! "You can say that again" snorted chewbacca (hairy man). "So you are saying that I arranged dates with both of you for today here", I said looking around for the hidden cameras and film crews. "How could I have done that if I was only in one nightclub and with you all night, I stated pointly rather accusingly at Greek God man as if he was the one in the wrong. Slowly, with a sinking feeling started to rise in the pit of my stomach, the events of the previous night started to unfold in my mind. And it was with huge trepidation I asked Chewbacca what he did for a living? "A taxi Driver", he said looking at me as if I had lost my marbles completely now.
Now in the midst of having what my friends call an oh my god moment (Oh my God, I cant believe I did that, Oh my God I cant believe I kissed that), as the 3 of us stood there, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, I finally realised actually what my friends meant when they said that the night was really and truly not over for me until I closed that front door! I still live with a deep regret about that, still pains me to think about it.. WHY OH WHY didn't I go in the back door of the pub, life could have been so different now!!
By 4.30pm on a Friday we would be in a bar on Stephens Green drinking Black Russians. I swear the barmen in there use to cringe when we all walked in. We would torment the poor guys all night. Usually it was " Thats too strong, you are trying to kill us on the first cocktail, to a few hours later when it turned to, "there is no vodka in that, put more alcohol in it". By 9pm the glasses were nearly transparent with all the vodka in them and we were all ready to go dancing, unlike the rest of the population who were only just starting their weekends. This was also when the events of the rest of the night would become somewhat hazy. The girls used to always laugh and say that with me the night was never over until I got into my own bed, because anything could happen with me. So with that in mind, here starts my dating diaster number 2.
After one of these mad Friday night out, I did indeed wake up at home!! WOOT, and alone, WOOT, and ok I may still have my coat and all my clothes on in the bed but I had made it home. Bonus points for me! Sitting up in the bed, I had a vague recollection of arranging a date for that day in town. I tried very hard to add a real face to the memory but I got nothing. His facial features were a complete blank but I decided to hell with it, I will go anyway, sure how bad could it be! After polyfilling in the black bags under my eyes and trying to make myself look somewhat human, I headed off. Now not remembering what he looked like, I was hoping that he would remember me as I stood at the door of the pub looking around me. It may have been my imagination, or the fragile state of my mind but I swear that nearly all the tables seemed to be occupied by one single male. Trying to stare a few of them down looking for some sort of recognise in their eyes that they knew me and getting very weird looks back , I realised this was probably making me look rather strange and most some MENTAL, so I retreated to the corner of the bar to get a drink and wait for the mystery man.
A few minutes later in walked this fella. Alot older than me, fairly ordinary looking with alot more hair sticking out of his shirt than was on the top of his head. Please God keep walking I thought but alas no, he walked straight over to me and greeted me as if we were long lost friends, having known each other all our lives. A big bear hug, a kiss on the cheek, a huge smile as if he was actually surprised to see me. I swear but he looked like he had just won the lottery. Oh crap,I thought.. I have done it again. I will never ever drink again.!! I say that alot but never with any real conviction!
Not wanting to be rude, we chatted for a while and he was ok, I'm sure he was a nice guy but definitely not for me. His bodily hair and the shear mass of it was just too distracting for me to concentrate on anything else. He must have been so warm with that extra level of fur around him. After getting us a drink and chatting for a while, he took himself off to the toilet and while I sat there complating making a run for it, over walks this vision of manhood. And I mean vision!! He was just gorgeous, about 25 and seemed to have more hair on his head, nicely styled too instead of it mostly trying to escape out of his shirt. He seemed to be coming straight to me I realised and trying not to faint from his loveliness, I started to pretend to read the bar menu. "Hi Valerie", he said sitting down on hairy mans stool. Judging by the blank look on my face and my gaping mouth, something he was probably well use to as i imagined he rendered many girls speechless in his time, he continue to talk to me. "I have been sitting back there since 4pm, he said throwing his arm and body in the direction of the back of the pub and the side door, " and I'm really confused why you didnt come over to me after arranging to meet me here". I thought we had a great night last night but I was obviously wrong". As his words started to sink in, Mr. Abominable snowman (hairy man) had arrived back from the toilet and was more than a little put out by the greek god in his stool.
Standing up from the stool, the handsome man turned to the hairy man and laughing said," I think we have been had, mate", he guffawed, "looks like blondie here was so drunk last night that she arranged two dates in the same pub for the same time".
"Hold on" I said standing up to feel a bit more in control, "'I'm confused"!! "You can say that again" snorted chewbacca (hairy man). "So you are saying that I arranged dates with both of you for today here", I said looking around for the hidden cameras and film crews. "How could I have done that if I was only in one nightclub and with you all night, I stated pointly rather accusingly at Greek God man as if he was the one in the wrong. Slowly, with a sinking feeling started to rise in the pit of my stomach, the events of the previous night started to unfold in my mind. And it was with huge trepidation I asked Chewbacca what he did for a living? "A taxi Driver", he said looking at me as if I had lost my marbles completely now.
Now in the midst of having what my friends call an oh my god moment (Oh my God, I cant believe I did that, Oh my God I cant believe I kissed that), as the 3 of us stood there, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, I finally realised actually what my friends meant when they said that the night was really and truly not over for me until I closed that front door! I still live with a deep regret about that, still pains me to think about it.. WHY OH WHY didn't I go in the back door of the pub, life could have been so different now!!
Monday, 23 May 2011
Dating Diaster No.1
I never thought I would be still dating at the grand ole age of just gone 40. 40 and a few days!! But I am and I realise that it gets no easier with age. Just worse I think. Is it cause all the goods ones are gone or do i really just attract them!! Im all into the law of attraction but im very worried now about whats going on in my mind after this date.. What am I attracting??
Well I made the effort, got sprayed, plucked, blow dried and waxed to within an inch of my life and left the house looking good. And the date started well, he turned up!! However in hindsight that wasnt really good at all.
I like to pride myself on being a friendly chatty person and usually put people at ease when they meet me. However this night, my charms appear to have left the building. Just wish I had left with them instead of hanging around in anticipation that this time, just once, it would go well..
He had apparently thought that making an effort was like I said in just turning up. This was also a historical moment in my dating career to be on a date with a bloke in a tracksuit and trainers. Maybe he was the sporty type I thought, be positive, maybe he just played a big international match and rushed over to meet me. Alas no, he just couldnt be bothered it transpired. But it was his best tracksuit, his "going out" one!!
Ok so far on the positives, he has arrived, he has remembered my name, where he met me but he seemed to be transfixed on my dress and was unable to make eye contact with me. Couldnt seem to raise his eyes above the bust line!! and again being positive, I put it down to being shy. He was just shy and would relax after a few drinks. We can work on the tracksuit later , all will be fine.
So after sitting at the table for 5 mins of me feeling like a hairdresser and asking him if he was going anywhere nice on holidays, he still wasnt making any effort to go to the bar. And believe me, I needed a large strong drink. So being an independent woman and thinking he would jump up, I asked if he would like a drink. "Yes thanks, I will have a coke", he says!! Coke !! I wasnt sure that I was in shock more about the fact that he wasnt drinking or whether it was the fact he was letting me get the first drink in. If this was him making an effort in the beginning, I couldnt wait to see how he would try to impress me after a few years.
I was happy to go to the bar really to gather my thoughts and rack my brain for all them ice-breaking topics I had learned at my works team building days. It was obvious after he had said, hello valerie that this was all he had in his volcabulary and it was all down to me.
He drank his coke like a greedy 7 year old child. Hunched up with his arms around it. Holding it lovingly close to his l shiny tracksuit top. Ahh did he think I would take it off him and tell him he had enough! I brooched the subject of work and YAY this was working, he spoke about 5 more words in a row. Up to now I had got UGH, YAY, MMM out of him.
I looked at this vision in front of me and wondered how I could have got it so wrong. We had been texting and chatting for a few weeks now and he was, yes literate and had the ability to string long sentences together, something which appeared to have left the building tonight with my charms. Wish I was wherever they were.
By now I needed a strong drink. It was saturday night, I was paying a babysitter. This painful experience was costing me 7 euro an hour so I was damned if I wasnt getting my money's worth. Giving me my bestest your going to love me smile, I ventured again, "would you like another coke" "Yes please", he says, not even batting an eyelid after me getting the first row in on a first date. I was really tempted to ask the bar man for a packet of crisp and a bar of chocolate for him to go with his coke. Good little boy that he was in turning up and ruining my saturday night. Where had he been for the last like aww century that he didnt know first date etiquette. Well getting a second date out of the first date etiquette at least.
As I returned from the bar, I noticed that his attentions werent on me at all but appeared to have started to scan the room. Had he arranged a get out of bad date card just in case and was trying to see if his friend was there to make his escape. Alas no, his attention was on all the other lovely ladies in the room. When I arrived back with the coke, he smiled and said to me, wait for it.. "did you see her, she is gorgeous". And he continued to blatantly stare at her.
So now in one seriously bad mood but needing the drink more than ever, I tried to draw him back to me just until I got the brandy into me. Well a single girl sitting alone in a bar on a saturday night is a whole different subject, right.
So what do you do with your friends at the weekend. God I was dragging the bottom of the barrel now. "Nah, no friends there", he said. He nodded then like he had just remembered and said he did have a friend from monaghan but he could only come and see him for an hour or so as he didnt like to leave the cows for longer. I didnt ask why but I would imagine it was that his friend just couldnt get a word in when they were out with all the banter.
So as i reached the last few drops of the brandy, I decided I needed to fake a heart attack as my date appeared to think he was doing ok and was impressing me. He was now nearly sitting on top on me and as I moved, he moved after me and I had now turn out of seat to move along on.
Let me just set the scene for you now. im twittering on the edge of my seat, his shiny tracksuit bottoms were making the hairs on my leg stand up now he was so close but he still hadnt looked me in the eye once only at my breasts. And had continued to blatantly stare at the other girl in the room as well, who also now seemed to be as uncomfortable as I was.
As I was about to throw myself on the floor, grabbing my heart while winking at the bar man so he realised he didnt really need to ring 999, Mr wonderful said he had to go!. Oh no problem I said, the hallelujah chorus raising inside me. Hallelujah Hallelujah!!
He jumped up, said he had a lovely time but he had to meet another girl at 10pm!!
All said while still looking at my breasts. I decided I had nothing to lose.. "Do I have half my dinner on my dress I asked as you seem to be fixated on a certain part of it all time" Looking me in the eyes for the first time since he arrived. And what a nice pair of blue eyes he had too for a weirdo!!
"Have a lovely time, she is one lucky girl !! I said in my best oscar winning performance of sincerity
And with that, without a backwards glance for fear he was following me, I made my escape into the first taxi, stopping on the way home to collect a large bottle of wine and 20 fags.. Saturday night wasnt over yet!!
Best bit .... drum roll.... about two hours later I got a text saying that he had a lovely night and would I like to meet him again, he felt there had been a real connection..!! I was tempted to text back and say that i would rather have all my teeth and limps pulled out one by one but I did the right thing didnt I..
I texted him back and said that i was gutted he had gone on another date but she was a lucky lucky girl and wished them all the best for the future. Took a large drink of my lovely wine and thanked god I had a sense of humour.!!
Im still waiting for one of my friends to admit they set it all up but alas no, this is real life but not as we know it.
Well I made the effort, got sprayed, plucked, blow dried and waxed to within an inch of my life and left the house looking good. And the date started well, he turned up!! However in hindsight that wasnt really good at all.
I like to pride myself on being a friendly chatty person and usually put people at ease when they meet me. However this night, my charms appear to have left the building. Just wish I had left with them instead of hanging around in anticipation that this time, just once, it would go well..
He had apparently thought that making an effort was like I said in just turning up. This was also a historical moment in my dating career to be on a date with a bloke in a tracksuit and trainers. Maybe he was the sporty type I thought, be positive, maybe he just played a big international match and rushed over to meet me. Alas no, he just couldnt be bothered it transpired. But it was his best tracksuit, his "going out" one!!
Ok so far on the positives, he has arrived, he has remembered my name, where he met me but he seemed to be transfixed on my dress and was unable to make eye contact with me. Couldnt seem to raise his eyes above the bust line!! and again being positive, I put it down to being shy. He was just shy and would relax after a few drinks. We can work on the tracksuit later , all will be fine.
So after sitting at the table for 5 mins of me feeling like a hairdresser and asking him if he was going anywhere nice on holidays, he still wasnt making any effort to go to the bar. And believe me, I needed a large strong drink. So being an independent woman and thinking he would jump up, I asked if he would like a drink. "Yes thanks, I will have a coke", he says!! Coke !! I wasnt sure that I was in shock more about the fact that he wasnt drinking or whether it was the fact he was letting me get the first drink in. If this was him making an effort in the beginning, I couldnt wait to see how he would try to impress me after a few years.
I was happy to go to the bar really to gather my thoughts and rack my brain for all them ice-breaking topics I had learned at my works team building days. It was obvious after he had said, hello valerie that this was all he had in his volcabulary and it was all down to me.
He drank his coke like a greedy 7 year old child. Hunched up with his arms around it. Holding it lovingly close to his l shiny tracksuit top. Ahh did he think I would take it off him and tell him he had enough! I brooched the subject of work and YAY this was working, he spoke about 5 more words in a row. Up to now I had got UGH, YAY, MMM out of him.
I looked at this vision in front of me and wondered how I could have got it so wrong. We had been texting and chatting for a few weeks now and he was, yes literate and had the ability to string long sentences together, something which appeared to have left the building tonight with my charms. Wish I was wherever they were.
By now I needed a strong drink. It was saturday night, I was paying a babysitter. This painful experience was costing me 7 euro an hour so I was damned if I wasnt getting my money's worth. Giving me my bestest your going to love me smile, I ventured again, "would you like another coke" "Yes please", he says, not even batting an eyelid after me getting the first row in on a first date. I was really tempted to ask the bar man for a packet of crisp and a bar of chocolate for him to go with his coke. Good little boy that he was in turning up and ruining my saturday night. Where had he been for the last like aww century that he didnt know first date etiquette. Well getting a second date out of the first date etiquette at least.
As I returned from the bar, I noticed that his attentions werent on me at all but appeared to have started to scan the room. Had he arranged a get out of bad date card just in case and was trying to see if his friend was there to make his escape. Alas no, his attention was on all the other lovely ladies in the room. When I arrived back with the coke, he smiled and said to me, wait for it.. "did you see her, she is gorgeous". And he continued to blatantly stare at her.
So now in one seriously bad mood but needing the drink more than ever, I tried to draw him back to me just until I got the brandy into me. Well a single girl sitting alone in a bar on a saturday night is a whole different subject, right.
So what do you do with your friends at the weekend. God I was dragging the bottom of the barrel now. "Nah, no friends there", he said. He nodded then like he had just remembered and said he did have a friend from monaghan but he could only come and see him for an hour or so as he didnt like to leave the cows for longer. I didnt ask why but I would imagine it was that his friend just couldnt get a word in when they were out with all the banter.
So as i reached the last few drops of the brandy, I decided I needed to fake a heart attack as my date appeared to think he was doing ok and was impressing me. He was now nearly sitting on top on me and as I moved, he moved after me and I had now turn out of seat to move along on.
Let me just set the scene for you now. im twittering on the edge of my seat, his shiny tracksuit bottoms were making the hairs on my leg stand up now he was so close but he still hadnt looked me in the eye once only at my breasts. And had continued to blatantly stare at the other girl in the room as well, who also now seemed to be as uncomfortable as I was.
As I was about to throw myself on the floor, grabbing my heart while winking at the bar man so he realised he didnt really need to ring 999, Mr wonderful said he had to go!. Oh no problem I said, the hallelujah chorus raising inside me. Hallelujah Hallelujah!!
He jumped up, said he had a lovely time but he had to meet another girl at 10pm!!
All said while still looking at my breasts. I decided I had nothing to lose.. "Do I have half my dinner on my dress I asked as you seem to be fixated on a certain part of it all time" Looking me in the eyes for the first time since he arrived. And what a nice pair of blue eyes he had too for a weirdo!!
"Have a lovely time, she is one lucky girl !! I said in my best oscar winning performance of sincerity
And with that, without a backwards glance for fear he was following me, I made my escape into the first taxi, stopping on the way home to collect a large bottle of wine and 20 fags.. Saturday night wasnt over yet!!
Best bit .... drum roll.... about two hours later I got a text saying that he had a lovely night and would I like to meet him again, he felt there had been a real connection..!! I was tempted to text back and say that i would rather have all my teeth and limps pulled out one by one but I did the right thing didnt I..
I texted him back and said that i was gutted he had gone on another date but she was a lucky lucky girl and wished them all the best for the future. Took a large drink of my lovely wine and thanked god I had a sense of humour.!!
Im still waiting for one of my friends to admit they set it all up but alas no, this is real life but not as we know it.
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