Once upon a time there lived a young girl in her 20's who worked for an advertising company. All being single girls at the time, our working week involved as little work as we could get away with and alot of planning our friday night. Mondays were spent piecing the previous friday nights events together with the help of each other. It usually involved lots of "OMG,I forgot about that, or him or her or them". The rest of the week then involved what are we wearing, where will we go. This was usually a pointless exercise as we ended up doing the same thing every Friday anyway.
By 4.30pm on a Friday we would be in a bar on Stephens Green drinking Black Russians. I swear the barmen in there use to cringe when we all walked in. We would torment the poor guys all night. Usually it was " Thats too strong, you are trying to kill us on the first cocktail, to a few hours later when it turned to, "there is no vodka in that, put more alcohol in it". By 9pm the glasses were nearly transparent with all the vodka in them and we were all ready to go dancing, unlike the rest of the population who were only just starting their weekends. This was also when the events of the rest of the night would become somewhat hazy. The girls used to always laugh and say that with me the night was never over until I got into my own bed, because anything could happen with me. So with that in mind, here starts my dating diaster number 2.
After one of these mad Friday night out, I did indeed wake up at home!! WOOT, and alone, WOOT, and ok I may still have my coat and all my clothes on in the bed but I had made it home. Bonus points for me! Sitting up in the bed, I had a vague recollection of arranging a date for that day in town. I tried very hard to add a real face to the memory but I got nothing. His facial features were a complete blank but I decided to hell with it, I will go anyway, sure how bad could it be! After polyfilling in the black bags under my eyes and trying to make myself look somewhat human, I headed off. Now not remembering what he looked like, I was hoping that he would remember me as I stood at the door of the pub looking around me. It may have been my imagination, or the fragile state of my mind but I swear that nearly all the tables seemed to be occupied by one single male. Trying to stare a few of them down looking for some sort of recognise in their eyes that they knew me and getting very weird looks back , I realised this was probably making me look rather strange and most some MENTAL, so I retreated to the corner of the bar to get a drink and wait for the mystery man.
A few minutes later in walked this fella. Alot older than me, fairly ordinary looking with alot more hair sticking out of his shirt than was on the top of his head. Please God keep walking I thought but alas no, he walked straight over to me and greeted me as if we were long lost friends, having known each other all our lives. A big bear hug, a kiss on the cheek, a huge smile as if he was actually surprised to see me. I swear but he looked like he had just won the lottery. Oh crap,I thought.. I have done it again. I will never ever drink again.!! I say that alot but never with any real conviction!
Not wanting to be rude, we chatted for a while and he was ok, I'm sure he was a nice guy but definitely not for me. His bodily hair and the shear mass of it was just too distracting for me to concentrate on anything else. He must have been so warm with that extra level of fur around him. After getting us a drink and chatting for a while, he took himself off to the toilet and while I sat there complating making a run for it, over walks this vision of manhood. And I mean vision!! He was just gorgeous, about 25 and seemed to have more hair on his head, nicely styled too instead of it mostly trying to escape out of his shirt. He seemed to be coming straight to me I realised and trying not to faint from his loveliness, I started to pretend to read the bar menu. "Hi Valerie", he said sitting down on hairy mans stool. Judging by the blank look on my face and my gaping mouth, something he was probably well use to as i imagined he rendered many girls speechless in his time, he continue to talk to me. "I have been sitting back there since 4pm, he said throwing his arm and body in the direction of the back of the pub and the side door, " and I'm really confused why you didnt come over to me after arranging to meet me here". I thought we had a great night last night but I was obviously wrong". As his words started to sink in, Mr. Abominable snowman (hairy man) had arrived back from the toilet and was more than a little put out by the greek god in his stool.
Standing up from the stool, the handsome man turned to the hairy man and laughing said," I think we have been had, mate", he guffawed, "looks like blondie here was so drunk last night that she arranged two dates in the same pub for the same time".
"Hold on" I said standing up to feel a bit more in control, "'I'm confused"!! "You can say that again" snorted chewbacca (hairy man). "So you are saying that I arranged dates with both of you for today here", I said looking around for the hidden cameras and film crews. "How could I have done that if I was only in one nightclub and with you all night, I stated pointly rather accusingly at Greek God man as if he was the one in the wrong. Slowly, with a sinking feeling started to rise in the pit of my stomach, the events of the previous night started to unfold in my mind. And it was with huge trepidation I asked Chewbacca what he did for a living? "A taxi Driver", he said looking at me as if I had lost my marbles completely now.
Now in the midst of having what my friends call an oh my god moment (Oh my God, I cant believe I did that, Oh my God I cant believe I kissed that), as the 3 of us stood there, The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, I finally realised actually what my friends meant when they said that the night was really and truly not over for me until I closed that front door! I still live with a deep regret about that, still pains me to think about it.. WHY OH WHY didn't I go in the back door of the pub, life could have been so different now!!
